Does celebrity cannabis work better than a strain from Joe Schmoe? Absolutely, because your brain is wired to associate a star’s positive qualities with the effectiveness of the brand they endorse. And that’s your mom’s fault. She was the first “celebrity” in your life: A familiar face (and body) from whom all good things—love, food, warmth, laughter—flowed. Your endorphins surged when you saw her, you smiled, and she smiled back, and then she provided even more good things.
So you were primed when George Clooney smiled at you, as well: Like your mom, he has positive qualities, and you transfer those to the Nespresso he’s allegedly enjoying. The coffee isn’t any better because Clooney cashed a $40 million check, mind you; it’s better because you feel all Clooneyesque when you drink it, just as you indulged in total mom-bliss at her proffered breast. The marketers know this: Research from Harvard Business School showed that celeb-endorsed products rake in 4% more than their competitors, which explains the $500 million love-fest between LeBron James and Nike.
That brings us to cannabis, with its 10,000-year history of cultivation and use for health and entertainment. And now there are 10,000 tinctures, dabs, vapes, balms, and sandwich spreads. (Pharma CBD peanut butter is just waiting for Mr. Peanut’s endorsement!) Sure, the best formulations work. Cannabis is great. But might they not work just a little better, and be more likely to fly off shelves, if a celeb endorsed them, a la Jared Fogel and Subway? No wait, bad example. Ronald Reagan and Chesterfields?
Let’s start all over. The Cannabis All-Stars are taking star turns (and tokes) in a dispensary near you. If your brain lights up, blame your mom. But enjoy the benefits. Willie wants that for you!
Willie Nelson Brand: Willie’s Reserve (williesreserve.com), including pre-rolls, flower, vape pens and cartridges, chocolates, fruit chews, and coffee.
Snoop Dogg Brand: Leafs by Snoop (merryjane.com/brands/ leafs-by-snoop), including eight strains of THC-laden cannabis, a CBD-only strain, and every kind of shatter, wax, and edible you can imagine.
About his first toke, as a 6-year old:
Martha Stewart Brand: The Canadian cannabis giant Canopy Growth (canopygrowth .com), with whom she is consulting on forthcoming line of CBD pet and people potions.
She told Forbes,
Bob Marley Brand: Marley Natural (marleynatural.com) eponymous herb, prerolls, pipes, and bubblers.
Well, Bob has been dead for 38 years, which accounts for his relative silence on the new business venture. But his website quotes him as saying, “Herb is a thing that gives you a little time to yourself so you can live.”
Ricky Williams Brand: RW Herbalife (shoprw.life), including a wide range of CBD salves and tonics.
The former NFL running back told Sports Illustrated (rather mystically):
Whoopi Goldberg Brand: Whoopi & Maya Medical Cannabis (whoopiandmaya.com), “for women, by women,” including a menstrual-cramp tincture, a bath balm, and a body rub
“I’ve championed human rights, social issues and concerns of the disenfranchised, among other things,” she wrote in an op-ed in the Orange County Register. “